Happy Birthday, Kath. . .
Yesterday would have been my cousin Kathi’s 60th birthday. She died shy of her 50th, after an excruciating battle with cancer. The excruciating part was more the family’s battle really; my mom and her daughters were particularly devastated, her sister, and parents, of course. My sister, too. To Kathi herself, not so much. She resigned herself to her fate with a quiet dignity that was extraordinary, really. A naturally tough cookie, she softened in those last months and while she didn’t not fight, she didn’t fight so hard as to go up against God and force him to change his mind. She seemed ready to leave; to go somewhere better.
Her life was not spectacular in extravagance or hardship; she led a normal life that held love and joy, pain and disappointment. Married young with a subsequent divorce, she raised two smart girls, shared a difficult relationship with her mother, did work that she enjoyed. She cultivated trusted lifetime friendships, many with her family members—especially my mom. She had a good life. She lived comfortably and had great shoes. I really liked Kath, mostly on the days that she showed her wry wit and wicked intelligence.
However, my mom adored her. They were trusted confidants and had an almost telepathic connection. Only ten years apart, they were more like sisters than niece and aunt and closer than any of the many pairs of sisters our family has bred. Especially her and her own sister, Kathi’s mother. I am happy that they shared that special bond. I have girlfriends like that and I know how much Mom missed her as she brought her flowers to remember her.
As I think of all the events where we have missed Kathi here on Earth, I am certain she hasn’t missed a thing. She is above watching as babies are born, kids grow up and the people she loves move into new homes and new lives. She has seen her all of her grandchildren come into the world. She has sat across from my mom in her new place to have a cup of coffee. . . and she will dance at Missy’s wedding after kicking off a fabulous pair of shoes.
